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Started By smanjh (somewhere in, the USA, U.S.A.)

Started on: 6/21/2005 10:34:31 PM, viewed 1737 times
The small list of things EVERY hit/hd advocate should consider!! READ NOW!!11!!11

Ok, I have made a huge effort to discover the teachings of Mike Mentzer, and here is what I found out, in order, and the last one is of the most importance.

10) Do not get upset at the 140 pound weakling ′volume trainer′ passing you up in gains. As long as you apply the only valid principles of weight training, you will reach your genetic potential.

9)Eat only 1400 calories a day. Very important.

8)Make sure to end up, after 6 months of training, only doing one excersise. If you have failed to make meaningful progress adhering to this top 10, then you are illogical and irrationale and you will go to the non-theoretical hell for such hogwash.

7)Take steroids. However, only 1 gram of test a week, injected to failure. Any more or spliting the doses up constitutes ′over juicing′.

6)Read Ayn Rand. She was the whole influence on this training program. Make sure to read, and reread the fountainhead before working out, hence the 4-14 day rest periods.

5)Smoke cigarettes. Remember, it only took one sperm to create a baby, and only 1 carton of ciggs a day to produce a stimulii that will rendor cardio useless.

4)Take speed. You see, why live 70-100 non productive, low intensity years when you can live 49 years to failure. Perfectly logical.

3)Grow a mustache and pose on the beach while occasionally directing traffic in the nude. This is a great recovery enhancer, trust me.

2)Eat honey melon and nectarines. Thes made up the diet of the should-be Mr.O 1980, and they will work for you!

1)Here it is, the number one secret for succeeding on HD: Drink your own urine. Be careful though, just as it took only one bang to create a universe, it will only take 1 glass to stimulate an increase in bacteria in the body. After you are 2 days in between glasses, superset the urine with vodka grimlets and nectarines with a little honey melon.

There you have it, the top ten, must do things to make HD work FOR YOU!!!

***Hahaha, I was board and a bud of mine always plays around about Mike and HD. No offense, just thought it was funny as hell. We both train like this too, and it works! Try the urine thing, man, it′s like USA YELLOW D-bol!!!lol

This Topic has 33 Replies: Displaying out of 33 Replies:

smanjh (somewhere in, the USA, U.S.A.) on 6/21/2005 10:46:29 PM

Bumo to da top baby, I laughed so hard making it, thought everyone else would get a kick out of it too, lol.

dafortae (a, a, U.S.A.) on 6/22/2005 8:49:07 AM

Hey smanjh, were you by any chance smoking *ANYTHING* when you made your last few posts???

Darrell

BigTav (Sydney, NSW, Australia) on 6/22/2005 9:23:52 AM

I personally find this very offensive. Please delete this post Val. I have the greatest respect for Mike and this kind of shit really pisses me off. After all Mike has done for bodybuilding this is the type of garbage we have to read from you. I can take a joke as well as the next guy but this is crossing the line especially on a board that respects Mike. I bet you wouldn′t have posted if Mike was still alive.

smanjh (somewhere in, the USA, U.S.A.) on 6/22/2005 4:17:49 PM

dafortae,

No man, but it was just a play on words based on the hd theory and how mike presented it.

BigTav,

Do you understand this is a joke? I have great respect for Mike, and if he was alive, he would enjoy a good ribbing of the rumors and so forth. Yes, he did alot for bodybuilding, but by his own accounts, he was somewhat off for years and a little looney. No disrespect to him, or any of us (his fans), but damn man, have some humor. Remember when they asked him about pee drinking and such, he responded with, "I have done so many things, you could not embarrass me if you tried" or something like that. So, to recap, if Mike were alive, not only would I post it, but after paying him to personally train me, after I flew to California tto meet him, I would ask him about what he thought. You know what he would do? Laugh his ass off most likely. I do not understand your position or apparent hatred of me, since I do NOTHING but defend Mike and his ideals on all of the boards.

For anyone else who dislikes it, simple solution: do not read it or bitch about it, but damn, realize it is a joke as STATED on the original post.

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